₦airaland Forum

Ok

Trueigbo:
Thank you.

We are concerned about her chances being that she is almost 75years old.

Considering her age, pls don't risk it and still spend money that will still be needed for any unforeseen circumstances

Let her eat meals that can easily pass her throat like oat meals, Pap, cereal, conflakes, soft cooked beans, amala I fruits, salads and soups

Just ask her what meal she wants and give her little quantity but frequent meal

There must be drugs that will be recommended for her to manage her situation

Bolt458:
I am not writing this for religious people to come with their funny talks, I am just putting this out here to hear from people who might have tried this methods or who heard about this methods and still proceeded or did not. I want to hear your experience. I have been dating someone for 5 years now, it happened that I began to see her as someone I would want to spend my life with. Last year we did our genotype test and we were both AS. Now , I know some of you will say this should be the first thing you ask when you meet someone but c’mon, would you say people in university that are dating now, would ask their sef that question? That theory is only feasible when you are single and ready to get married and want to start a new relationship, then you can always ask, but we all know some of our relationships started when we no Dey even see marriage in the nearest future, all of a sudden you just see them as the right person and you take the bold step. Now, I had to meet my family doctor here in Canada, I explained to him my current situation and he referred me to a GENETIC COUNSELOR. I am trying to take the necessary steps cause I am not ready to bring in a child with Sickle cell to this world, and I am not leaving anything to faith. A fone appointment was set with the counselor and we spoke at length. She told me that in every foetus, there is a 25% chance that we can get an SS child. Now , how do we mitigate this percentage to the barest minimum I asked as I am not even ready to bring in a sickler to this world. She gave me three options, I would rather say two because the last involves test when the baby comes, and that is out of the question.

Option 1:
A) CVS: They take a sample of the fluid in the womb through her vagina, at 12 weeks to test, if it’s good then fine, if not we have to terminate.

OR

B) At 16 weeks, they take the fluid using a needle directly from her womb, and if it’s SS , they terminate. Both procedures are cover by the government and we don’t need to pay a dime.

Now, she assured me that abortion is a very safe procedure if done properly, and it is even a bigger risk that one can die from a penicillin injection or carrying a pregnancy to term than any harm during an abortion.I know many people would come here and say abortion is this and that but let us be frank to ourselves. If you were told that the child in your womb would have cerebral palsy, or Down syndrome or a neurological disorder, would you still keep that pregnancy? Is there a 100% assurance that two AA people would give birth to a healthy baby? I have come to a realization that pregnancy is just a risk that people take, cus you really don’t know how your child would turn out.


Option 2:
PGD. This is just like IVF, where they would select the genotype before they insert back to the womb. She told me the government doesn’t cover this, and it could cost between $10K- $40k. However she mentioned, just like IVf, it is not guaranteed as it can fail and your money is gone.

I discussed this with my girl in Nigeria and she said she was fine with option 1a. I then asked her, that if the first, second are SS would she still remove it. She accepted. I would not lie to you, this girl is everything I want in a woman. I am not just looking at just love because I know love fades with time, but she is a really nice person, and has a good character. She has always been like this from my days in Nigeria because I was with her before I moved outside. Now after finding out our genotype, I tried to get into a relationship with AA. The first one Dey nigeria, she is a nice person, beautiful, but I just didn’t like her or feel attracted to her. She got tire and we just free ourselves, the second one is here in Canada, I just don’t like this one . Please note, I never slept with any of these ladies because I feel it’s not fair.


Now my question is for those who knew all this and still proceeded, how did it work out for you?

I repeat, don’t come here to tell me about how abortion is this and dat. Cus I know if they tell any of you that your child would be abnormal, 90% of you will go for the abortion

Dey play well well

If you insist on getting married to her, then go for child adoption

ibinaboonline:
Thanks very much for this. The truth is I've already decided in my mind that she's the one. I also understand the importance of all you've said here. I'm pretty sure my mom will like her but I won't pop the question before taking her to see them. The thing is we both live in the same city, and she still live with her parents. So, I'm not sure the idea of her staying with my family (I don't live with my family) like for week is okay.

Thanks for your compliments
The idea is to visit and spend maybe one or two hours with your family

Not necessarily mean staying with them for long

ibinaboonline:
Quick question for married people: take the woman to see your parents before proposing to her, or propose to her before taking her to see your parents? In what order is this culturally appropriate?

Because of some circumstances and family values,
I will suggest you take her along to visit your family and spend some times with her and your family

If she is comfortable with your family and relate well with your mum and sisters, then they are the one that will tell you their observations in her be it good or bad

But if she dodges your mum and sisters at home, they are still the ones that will observe her too

After the trip, if there are any positive comments about her, that's when you will get the green light

But if there are negative comments about her, then you draw her attention and advice her to make adjustment or corrections in the case maybe

At the end if you are ok, you can make your proposal to her

I believe that if you make your proposal and take her along and they reject her base on whatever reasons, you will find it difficult to go on with her and if you tell her what and who makes observations on her, she will feel bad

If eventually she succeeded in penetrating into the family

She will start enmity with those who opposed her coming and that's another cold war that will linger long and affect every one including you

Donkogbe:
Have you ever been in a situation where your own blood family can't come through for you?

I saved 200k for 3month from my salary and income and i plan to get a new apartment in lagos and i only need 50k to complete the payment for a roomself contain.

I asked them to borrow me till i get my salary and non of them responded and said they don't have the money.

I only need to borrow the money is not assive i am not earning and even if i stay till july ending i will definitely get the remaining 50k myself but i just have to move in a hurry and this people are acting this way.

Please nobody should talked about entitlement here because if my own family cannot help me solve a 50k problem which i will return within 3weeks then tell me why allot of people will not neglect their own family when they finally made it?

Please how can i really go about this thanks

Leave your family out of this because you may not know the financial situation they are facing in tbeir respective homes

Why not pay landlord the one you have and complete the balance in three months

Another Mumu will still fake another Jamb result next year

radiolover:
I have sent possibly more than 80 applications and fortunately, I got called by a few.

I have exhausted scarce resources to attend interviews, editing and re-editing resumes to fit a certain role and position, cost of transportation, I don't want to even mention having to trek a long distance sometimes due to lack of fund to pay Tfare. I mean someone is broke and hungry and trying his best to land a job but he's rather receiving rejection mails. What is this?

On Monday, I received a rejection mail from automobile company where I applied for a marketing role. On Tuesday, I received another one from a production factory.

Now I just returned from another job hunting only to open my mail and saw another rejection mail. This very one pain me most because I had high hope on it and i have spent so much on it too. During the second stage of the interview, I can remember how I waited from 8am till 5pm just to see 'Oga', and after seeing him, I began to walk my way home and got home late. I know i'm sounding sentimental here but it's so annoying that i went through all that 'ontop empty belle' and at the end, I wasnt offered the job.

Very very painful and morale killing.

I feel so bad right now.

Feels like the world has crashed.

Feels like everything has finished.

Feels like everything has ended.

Feels like more hunger for me ahead ahead.

Who has faced this before?

How did you comfort yourself?

God has not rejected you, keep trying and one day you will have three appointments that you will be so happy and you won't know which to choose from

dboY1123:
I need a very solid advice.
My mum gave birth to 6 children and we are remaining five because we lost the second born(male) last year, he was about 46 years old(blessed memory).

Last year, we lost our mum to heart related illness after efforts proved abortive. My Dad is a Pastor, a big church of a plot and half land mass, but few members over the years.
I am a fresh graduate searching for job and my sister who's the third born lost her husband last year as well.

Our believe is that the area (family house) is devilish. My sisters believed that my mum's death wasn't ordinary but from that area.. Just this Monday, my dad has stroke ( his left leg and hand ), he said he had insomnia previous night(Sunday), but I quickly rush him with BP drugs.. When the nurse came to check his BP that same Monday, it wasn't high at all.. We took him away from that area.

Now, the issue is.. My dad is a CAC pastor, and most times CAC would take over the church if the owner dies.. We the children are still struggling financially and none of us is ready to become a pastor(to head the church).

I am having this thought that, to avoid such scenario (CAC taking over) why not just sell or lease it out? We have another building in Oyo state, and also a house beside the church.

I don't know if I'm thinking the wrong way though, that is why I need advice., Before I go ahead and table it before my sisters and my Dad. Myself, I don't want to continue in that area again.. Meaning nobody would stay, but our house which is beside the church, we can renovate it very well and that one in Ibadan and rent it out...
Please I need good and mature advice.
Thanks

I want to assume that the challenges you are facing in your family is rooted around the family and may not probably be from that land where you guys are living

But since you guys have concluded that it's from that land

Sell everything off including the house you are living and pack out of that place

Tell your dad that you need money to look after his condition and he should allow you all to agree to the sale of that land

Remind him all you are all passing through from one death extention to another

Forget about CAC people, they will buy another land there if they wish
A church that is not growing, what's the essence of keeping it

Meanwhile plan it now that your dad is still alive and can sign some documents to seal the deal let him too benefits from the sales by enjoying the proceed

You dont need to remind him that if he is no more the church will take the land, but let him know that it's for you guys to see money to take care of him because of his condition

If he refuse, you all should give him time and remind him again about it

omolola100:
Good day Nairalanders
I know what I did was wrong but I just had to do it because my former landlord is a wicked man
I created a trend about the quit notice that was served by my landlord.
Luckily enough for us we got another apartment and parked out of the house, meanwhile my landlord has promise to refund our balance of 17500 to us whenever we park out of the building, it was another story when we parked out of the house and handed over the key to him, he even threaten to beat my mom.
In order to revenge what this man did to us,
The new apartment we got is not that far.
the man is a commercial driver ,I always sneak to his house around 5am to burst his tyres with three of his tyres with needle, and even pack faeces together and scatter at the entrance of his house, I planned to burst the tyres three times, I have done it twice now , but I feel guilty going to burst his tyres because I won't even recover the money by doing so.
I have forgiven him but I still feel bad taking revenge.....
17,500 is not a small money this time, I want him to feel the pain too

Always leave Revenge for God
Ask God to forgive your actions and don't go back to finalize the third deflation

For the ones you did, the cost of replacing any damage Tyre is more than the debt he is owing you people

duduade:
Tufiakwa

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

Abi1985:
Having children is a blessing. But not all couples will have children and it is not the wife or husband fault. Some couples don't want kids at all. The wife is not witch or had abortion in the past or someone swear for them. Allow them to breathe, some couple are going through a lot just to conceive. Some tried fertility treatment , Some have prayed and fasted hoping for 1 child.
Many factors could be advanced maternal age, low sperm count, stress, multiple miscarriages, money matters and other unknowns
I see in laws or friends or family asking couple when they are going to born.
Some even go as ridiculed the man or the woman.
Please be supportive, be a source of encouragement and allow them to breathe.

As for this our own culture, child bearing is the major reason for marriage but they dress it to look as if its for companionship but it was actually for procreation

Secondly, we don't have plans for any old couple who doesn't have children, I mean taking care of them at old age
They usually die of loneliness

So I believe children are from God
But if couples are finding it difficult to conceive, let them find solutions for a way out and no one should make gest of them or accuse anyone of them for being the fault

Couples should also protect each other's interest when family starts demanding for children

Even if you are blessed with a child or more
We see them as insurance for old age, because the government doesn't even have any plans for old people, so that's why you need to have a child and train that child to look after you at old age

Meerahbel:
With the stories making the rounds on social media about Davido and Anita, so I ask why do ladies prefer being a baby mama instead of getting married

They don't prefer to be a baby mama, the pregnancy they were careless about made them to be and the man they are pregnant for are not prepared for marriage

So they will still go ahead keeping the pregnancy because they want to keep the pregnancy and at the same time, they just want something that will bond them with such person

Have you ever seen anyone being identified as a baby mama to a bus conductor or a school teacher and still want to drag them
No, because such class don't get identified

So they know what they are doing

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow nairalanders, there is this issue I am dealing with and I would like to share it. I get emotional with almost everything. I mean where am supposed to be logical, I get emotional even over little things and I don't like it. I don't like it because I feel weak and easily manipulated.I need advice on how to get less emotional as a guy and do my thing with no emotion attached.
Your opinions are welcomed

Seun,Mynd44,nlpfmod please I need people opinion on this
Thank you

Start building your emotions as a man because as you grow you will come across things that will shape you for good and for bad

Start now to prepare yourself for it

Secondly some bad experience can train you up

Some good experience can strengthen you up too

IconicR:
Most Nigerian women don't enjoy their marriage. Nigerian men are problematic and highly unfaithful

No one will ever come out to say that he or she is enjoying his or her marriage

Men are not problematic, except the lazy ones

All real men wants is their freedom to go out and flex but don't monitor their freedom

I don't have issues with that so far he is providing for his family

As a matter of fact, women enjoys marriage more especially where children are involve

But all these are not applicable to homes where women are struggling to provide for the family

beerfraud:
Simon Ekpa is the most powerful Ibo man alive today
He is using Twitter to control 70 million Ibos what could have happened if he was in Nigeria

He is wanted dead or alive

That's why he has refused to come home over 10yrs

He will be caught one day

Newupdatee:
Good day good people of Nairaland, please don't mind my English as I'm not educated to write English to your satisfactions.
I'm married with 3kids, 2 boys and a Girl, we are living happily, it happens that last year I lost my job and since that time, things has not been easy for us. I lost my job immediately I relocated my wife and my kids to my state of work. Which means my wife is not doing anything. Here is the problem I'm having, my wife told me last week that she missed her period. To be sincere I told that with our present condition, we don't kid for now, the most important thing now is for me to get something doing and she will be looking for something to start doing. She said that she must have the baby.
Please what do you think I will do in this situation?
I need your input. I'm open to any questions.
Please Note: I'm not seeking for any financial help, I made some saving during the time I was working just that I don't need extra responsibilities for now. Thanks

In that case she took in deliberately since she knows the economic situation of your family and went ahead to become pregnant

Let her keep the pregnancy, God will provide
But after the baby must have been one year

She must get something doing even if it's teaching in a school

By the time she will be busy and have to face children and work and stress, she will not allow another careless pregnancy

Women always know what they want and goes for it especially when they are idle and not contributing to assist their husband

But the moment she has a commitment and financial responsibility, she will be more sensible and economical because her pocket will be affected

IconicR:
Right decision. You should do proper investigation before passing any judgement. The girl has no clue, she was just unfortunate. They should dig further and they'll find out where all these emanated from.

Honestly I agree with you

rainlover:
Lol! Women supporting women indeed..

Assuming the OP is your brother, you would have single handedly chased away the baby mama.. Argue with your keyboard.

End!

Since you have comprehension problem

Why not stop commenting on posts that you read and don't understand

Wizywiz:
Nneoma... Happy New month.....ke kwanu

Nwanne adikwam good

Happy new month to you

Valoromega:
Anytime I have issues with my wife, maybe it's about another girl she always says what if she does her own too how would (mind you I have never been with another woman since we got married. I might just flirt around with some other girls once in a while via chat)
She has this mentality that she's beautiful and young and she usually gets a lot of attention and I think it's getting to her head. Because most times she usually talks about doing her own too and I think she has the tendency to cheat If I do something to her like cheating.

I told her that would be the end of our marriage

When a woman is bold telling you such

Its either you requested for it or she wants to serve you the same thing you are doing and she doesn't care if you end the relationship

I think you have to keep your flirting secret

Women are very good at revenge

funkmrflexx:
My wife and I recently had a fight, she snooped through my phone and saw chat I had with some girls though i don't have anything with them (I've promised myself not to do it again though)

During the quarrel she started insulting me, calling me a fool and a useless man, said that's why God has refused to bless me ( I took these insults because I was at fault)

I make roughly between 500 to 800k monthly( sometimes more)
I'm current opening a business for her in which I've spent more than 2 million.
We recently went on a vacation where I spent more than 900k
I don't have a car yet but I plan to get one before the end of the year
As a couple I think we are actually doing very well more than a lot of people, for the to say that God has blessed me makes me feel like she's not satisfied with my efforts and I feel she is measuring my success with other metrics other than what I'm striving for.
As I man I do my best to make sure my family is doing well. But I hate it when I feel I'm not appreciated.
She also said she gets tempted when guys try to talk to her outside.

Her anger was triggered by the chat she saw on your phone

So next time guide your phone and your ways

So that nothing will trigger her

Makenz25:
A man who's wife desserted for over two years and left him incommunicado, is he free to remarry since they are not officially divorce.
Pls I need your advice because I can't continue to be alone like this.

Your wife deserted you

Did you quarrel with her

Have you informed her family or you kept quiet

Did you inform your family or you kept quiet

Have you mad an attempt to look for her or make a police report that she just left your home just like that, or you don't care about police report

Well if you are tired of waiting, go to her family, with your family to inform them that your are no longer interested in the marriage and they should pass the message to her

Then listen to what they will say

eteebanky1:
4 of her siblings?? Too much oo

Meaning you'll be feeding 6 mouths excluding you three times a Day in this present economy

No go area, but if you know you're capable, You Can go ahead which I won't advise you to do.

Go to court, collect your daughter and discard the self centered woman and bunch of liabilities

Go to court to do what with a seven months baby

Who will give him the child 😕😕

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan she is the eldest of 7. We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements. She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad. Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night. I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers. For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding. I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision. What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter. Please help

There is no way you will be forced to carry those her siblings along with you after marriage, but then...

Whats your capacity, can you assist in supporting them from where you are, to wherever they will be

Am sure they are living some where and are feeding too

What kind of help do they need and how can you assist them

Both you and your baby mama should look into this issue

She is feeling for them and now it's affecting the parenting of your child

So find out what kind of help them need and how you guys can assist them together

You can as well pick the last two children

No one knows tomorrow

Badmashii:
Most sensible comment.

😂 Lol

thesilentman:
May heaven bless your soul!

Lol, same from here

thesilentman:
There is this married woman in my neigbourhood that am currently banging.This woman knows no joy since her husband took a second wife for himself and reduced this woman to the status of a mere house-help.He starves her with care,especially sex,wittingly.To make matters worse,he beat her with a piece of wire recently to the extent that there was bruises allover her body.(Some men are scumbags,by the way!)
This woman made me privy to her ordeal every time she hawked her wares to my compound.She said she's sex-starved and don't want to fornicate.
One thing led to the other-as i was examining her bruises in empathy at my varenda,she said her body was moving that i should tell her if i wanted to go over her.long story short,this woman actually cried in bed,thanking me profusely for making her feel like a woman again.since then,several doggy had followed behind the door everytime she came around.I dont know how words started to spread.I advised her to stop but she begs me not to take away her joy.
What can i do?

Both of you are adults
Locate the nearest guest house

Mister123:
Hello guys. Greetings to you. Please don't mind muy grammar, I'm not here for English classes lol.
My first child's almost 3years, trust me that girl can be playing and roaming about 24/7. As long as she's not asleep, her mum and I are always talking, don't do this, don't do that. Sometimes I lose my cool you know. I'm planing to enroll her into a conventional school by September because she seems really smart. My question here is, how do I handle her, she can't just stay in one place and our apartment is not really safe for her to be playing outside.
Parents and expert in the house please assist a brother with an idea of what to do.
Thank you

Well some children are like that, she need to be in school and also have a lesson teacher that will be coming around to keep her busy with books

That's the only person she can be fearful of

She is already used to you parents and she knows that you can only talk with out really beating her

Then keep her busy with cartoons on Telly

EriMma1:
Please guys,. Help me reason this matter.
I've had this client for 6 years and last year, I approached them for increment but nothing happened.

This year I threatened to leave and this people promised to do something. When the pay came in last week, na 5k dem add. Like seriously??

Meanwhile, my other clients added up to 20k, and some added 10k the same time I approached all of them last year.

So I wanted to call and ask if it was a mistake but I said let me ask round first and some my colleagues in the same field said they even tried that they have clients of over twenty years that have not added one naira to their pay.

Please, is it worth it especially now that there's serious inflation?

I think you should calm down

Is better to hold on to the little ones you have to meet up with the economy than to loose one out of the ones you have and reduce your income

Villa12:
Unless they call him out, i doubt if that king will ever give him the money. He probably see the money as a gift but failed to help out after collecting the gift.

I'm even imagining how can such a big personality can't help with a contract job in the territory he's governing as a King. I don't know why i feel the king do not have the intention of helping him. He's only deceiving him.

Too bad of him

Weevel77:
My mum was with my uncle that very day. It was my mum who handed the money to the king so he would understand how serious it is for a mother to come along out for his son. They gave him my CV also. I have been there two times with my uncle and myself alone. He's a busy type. Either not in the country or travelled to other states for meetings here and there. He doesn't recognise me very well. I believe they gave him the money. He probably see it as a gift.

Well in that case, let your uncle understand what you are passing through and ask him to help you financially so that you can have money from transport fair

Then is possible the king didn't have any link there

Maybe your uncle could assist by talking to him for a refund

Worst case your forget about it

jaksmillioniar:
Is normal for hubby and wife to quarelling most women have baby brain dat even if dat dey will do or say wat will make u mad. Sometimes u beat her but is not all d time u do dat. Its not nice to beat ur wife except if she really make u mad or insult ur mum. So how so u dicipline ur woman.
1 deny her sex most women know dat men love sex and use dat as advantage but pretend u Neva see her ignore her even if she try to tempt u Neva agree.she will feel pain. it will make her look like she is not beautiful enuf
2 dont eat her food I know dat one of d things dat pain woman pass in dis life is to reject her food . Dey hate wen dey cook and u refuse to eat is like to shoot dem gun.
3. Buy mama put in ur way from work dis will make her cry cos is like u are saying dat outside food is sweeter dan her food. No woman will not feel sad.
4 dont talk to her but be on phone for long. U can be talking to female college or friend in street. Be laughing or even ask what dey cook and u want to eat as joke.
5. Dont take her out for weekend.
6 u can shout at her or tell her bad word.
7 watch blue film in her present if on bed before u sleep u watch it in her face u are telling her dat u don't needs her and u prefer sometin else no woman in dis world dat wont cry and want to settle with de hubby. She will cry and later apologise

I doubt if you are a matured man

Talk less of being a married man

From the bullshit you wrote, it's possible you have never had a successful relationship because you actually lack the quality's of what it takes to be with the opposite sex

Keep this your advice to yourself alone and practice it alone

Stop misleading young men so that you don't create more problems for them in their relationships