₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
I am not in the category of people who said all actresses earn more than their male counterparts. For God sake Pete Edochie used to be (and maybe still is) the highest paid Nollywood actor for over a decade. What's the idea behind the cancel culture and gross generalisation? Female actresses appear richer because we all know that many of them have multiple streams of income and the industry somewhat favour them.

For how long do I have to come to this thread to explain my point?

People must not say what you want to hear, where you want to. And this thread is not about the correctness of Yul's actions.

Nobody deserves to be cheated on. That's my view about life. Trying to demystify cheating behaviours based on who is less or more deserving of cheating husbands do not make sense to me. This is the narration I'm trying to correct but some are hell bent on pushing the narrative of "don't suffer with him".

Even if you want to classify the type of ladies that do not deserve to be cheated on (since this is what the thread appears to be), I don't think Yul's wife has done anything beyond what other victims have done and still doing.

Acidosis:
Funny how people still believe some "grass-2-grace" celebrity stories online.

If Yul, a son to a famous Nigerian actor, could be broke during his undergraduate years, so what then should we and many other Nigerian students say?

Yul definitely wasn't where he wanted to be at the time he got married. That's not the definition of being broke.

If Yul's dream of becoming Nigeria's president gets actualized tomorrow, he will come out again with stories about how his second wife agreed to marry him when he had "nothing."

Yul was never broke and Yul's 1st wife did not marry into a broke family.

DoggoneDogg:
A sensible woman ought to be hiding her face if she is just getting married at the old age of 46.

All these fake smiles will disappear soon when there is no child to be presented to this same family. And even if a baby comes out of this union, this woman will be holding a 3 year old's hand to Kindergarten at 50 years old.

And knowing celebrity marriages, if they do break up in less than 5 years, a woman in her fifties will be coming on social media to constitute a nuisance about her "side of the story"... something she should have grown past in her 20s and early 30s....


Let me just stop here before I puke.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

michael1508:
Ojukwu blood never dies

Mariangeles:
In this case, it is the mother that is giving the whole family sleepless nights na.

O,p for now, just give her some space.

folake4u:
Yes oh. I fit deck person teeth sef.

folake4u:
Lmao, not in this life or the next to come sef. I nor fit try am, Sis.

folake4u:
I nor fit marry if I nor get my OWN MONEY oh.

Me wey like enjoyment, cruise, food and soft life.

lefemmechoclat:
You know one thing i live by is what isngood for the goose is good for the gander. Im sure if i was a woman that did this the advice would be different. For this man to literally lie to my face while it's ongoing is something that I s unforgiveable. Its like judas to jesus except b i am human. If he can do that to me knowing all i have donenin this home and for him. He can do anything to fulfill a desirenhe wants damned how i feel. Hard work i have sacrificied for. What i see on this board is similar to in haiti. If a man builds on his famiky land a woman cant inherit or sell it and get the money in case anything happens. That is money gone to his family. Later hisbextended family could take over. Its a sunken cost. We owe over 50k to the IRS. They could literally take our home in the usa if we dkntbpay that off soon and it accrues interest. I helped him get a car and helped him pay it with my credit. It is in nigeria right now being enjoyed. Ye declined to sell it to relieve some household debt. All the work I have done over the years all my money has went into our home. His to others pockets first building another home first. Everyone knew except me that's embarrassing. I would be working 2 jobs and still he couldn't cook the kids food cos that's a woman's job. I am not Tolerating anything. I am doing damage control at this point. He priorities his famiky before me and my kids future. That's painful. I could have remained single and now I have 4 kids to raise. He could in 25nyears say he is going back to Nigeria since all of a sudden he loves his country. If he was this foretelling I would have never married him. But he got what he wanted. I rather cut my losses now.im still young. I don't have time to be worried my husband will eventually go back and to do what It hurts to know that I could've not worked and helped him at all but that was used against me.

I told my parents this morning they were suprised and angry especially my father. That he didn't like I have been working 1 to up to 3 jobs at a time and had to be financial issue and why would he be building a house with me having to work so hard. My husband told me he won't be told he can't take care of his parents. So...
quote author=ifiokjohn post=111406359] I know it's hard for trust to be rebuild but if both of you work towards it...it's can work.
Have seen a woman forgive her husband who cheated on her and broke her trust. But in the long run, she chooses to work on her marriage, forgive her husband and today they're very happy. That trust has been rebuilt.

Your husband has a fault. He cheated on you by not telling you he was building a house. You're his partner in everything and he cheated by lying. Buts it's been two years( I guess he has apologize) now is the time to let it all go. Build a happy home again. You can if you both work on it.
Ask him if he's willing to help in building that home. Let him promise openness this time around..taking you in all his plans weather present or future. .and that you will put as much work on it as he will. NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS. let him know you doing this for your children and for the Love you had/have for him and cause you believe children grow better in a stable home.

Let him know you want to be in all major decision making.. from the money he is sending home to his parents or cousins...if you want him to stop sending money to his cousins except on dire situation then you can agree for him to send.

Marriage is all about understanding, communication, Tolerance and Trust.
I put tolerance there cause your partner will push you to your limit but your ability to Tolerate, smile and push forward helps keeps your marriage. It's both ways by the way.

Then Trust, yes marriage can not exist without trust but even trust can be built after it has been shattered. Though it will take awhile but you both are willing to work on it and from now on be straightforward with each other you can save this marriage and build a better future for yourself(Unity)

Advice him on business plans like the Real Estate and how you guys can setup in the USA.
It's possible. Make him understand it.
You guys can build a more secured future for your family.
I believe in you Guys.
I believe in marriage
I believe in tolerance
I believe in Trust
I believe in understanding
I believe in communication
A marriage can work with all this even without much love.. but where there's love and not all this...it's a recipe for disaster.

My fellow African sister, build your marriage again, your trust, your tolerance, your communication and your understanding again for the sake of your kids and the love you once had/have for him.


HAPPY SUNDAY TO YOU. MAY THE PEACE AND LOVE OF GOD THROUGH CHRIST STRENGTHEN YOU. ENJOY YOUR DAY AND SAY ME HI TO YOUR KIDS.

I'LL LOVE TO TELL YOU CONGRATULATIONS IF YOU DO MAKE IT WORK.

bukatyne:
There is another breed of husbands that works, earns more than the wife and still not contribute (financial, domestic etc) in the home.

The things I have heard and seen.....

A husband splitting mortgage 50% with his wife when he earns way higher & only husband's name is on document.

Abi wife struggling with fees while husband is buying designer shoes and wristwatches.

That's why when I hear split bill 50 - 50, I am wary.

When people shout that all women should work so that their husbands would not ridicule/disrespect them, I laugh.

In addition to looking for you don't want, one needs to look for what she/ he wants.

skywalker240:
Didn't married her,

Her shakara no be here

But I can bet, i saw the look of sadness and jealousy in her face when she saw my wedding pics on Facebook

She always ask after my wife, when she calls and she be "like is she taking good care of you" ?

ibechris:
U need to watch him...such a man can still come back to Nigeria and marry another woman behind u.

This man didn't try at all.

This is a text book example of being wicked and selfish at the same.

Gainman:
if you truly have Christ in you. I don't believe u will have such problem in your marriage. A real man never leave a wife who truly have Christ.

JohnnyBling:
Sapa lol. I need that soup to last till weekend

armyofone:
Having witnessed how the infections spread - at churches, schools, bus, playgrounds, workplaces, stores etc we just didn't hear of those kind of COVID-19 spreading, surge etc in Nigeria. People were still going about doing business, going to church, large market gatherings etc
I thought it was flu not COVID-19 that happened.
Anyway research is on going.
Since you guys want to brag about experiencing COVID-19, all good. I want it over.

JohnnyBling:
https://www.nairaland.com/6997268/afang-soup-three-easy-steps
First time cooking afang and it came out just right after using pocohantas recipe.

Tranquility2345:
How can you open your mouth and say you don’t really think there was ever COVID-19 in some parts of Africa and Nigeria? As in are you really serious? So those people that are testing positive and falling sick with loss of taste and smell all over the place are ghosts? If you are not knowledgeable about a topic, just shut the fukk up and stop displaying your ignorance for the whole world to see….

armyofone:
I don't know if it is the food and strong immune...maybe...they are researching it.
For real, I don't really think there was ever COVID-19 in some parts of Africa eg Nigeria.

Right - trying to get similar food by buying organic - money grabbing. For example - I buy organic brown egg because I just don't understand the taste of White eggs.

Gaddafi1:
So long a letter.

About 70 percent of bullies are male, and about 30 percent are female.
Both male and female bullies are more likely to target women.
Sixty-one percent of bullying comes from bosses or supervisors. Thirty-three percent comes from co-workers. The remaining 6 percent occurs when people at lower employment levels bully their supervisors or others above them.

INFORMATION IS POWER

Ximenez:
Wetin be history sister abeg?