₦airaland Forum

Obinna53:
There's this Girl, I love so much,so one Day she went to stay at a Friends place for a justifiable reason.The next Day she came back Home everything was fine but after a couple of Days I noticed how fragile she became and always had this pity face.Then she sat me down one Day crying and told me she wanted to tell me something and Should Forgive her Please and Boom!!! She Told me what ensured between her and the Guy that Night,Right now I am really Moody, I would like to here your Individual Opinion on this Situation and how you handled it, if you had like my Experience, Thank You

It's not a big deal, cheat on her too and seat her down to tell her how it went and ask for forgiveness

You want to get depressed on a woman whom you dont even know who will put a ring on her finger

Princecanada:
Hi Nairalanders,

This issue has been bothering for a while now. I am not the promiscuous type. I was a virgin all through my university until I started working in one of the states. She was my first and has been the only one. I have been having relationship problems in the sense that I it's just so difficult for me to get emotionally attached to a lady. I am straight so don't think the other way round. I tried to see if I could work this out with her, but along the line, I lost interest again. So just before my relocation, she said she wants to see me one last time before I travel, I tried to lie to her that I am unavailable,but then she made it seemed like I didn't want to see her, I felt sorry and said no problem that she can come around. I have only had sex with her once but with protection, on this her second visit, she said she wouldn't want protection anymore as she doesn't enjoy sex with condom, and that she wants to enjoy sex before I leave. I told her I am not comfortable with the idea as I don't want her to get pregnant as she is still a student in one of the universities. She said she can only get pregnant if she wants to, and that as a student, she doesn't want that yet. When she came over, the did happened but even then I still used a condom, condom broke on 3 occasions, then I decided to raw, and when I felt I was about to release, I pulled out. Even though I pulled out, I was uncomfortable because I have heard that precum can also get a lady pregnant. I was scared about any possibility of infection too. Took her to the hospital the next day, did HIV and other STD tests which came out negative. We went together to see the doctor for post pills, but she declined taking any that since I didn't release in her, she will be fine. And that she has pills she can take too. I was furious at her, but had to respect her decision as it is her body.

Three weeks after, she called that she thinks she's pregnant, that she missed her period which is very unusual. I was so mad at her and told her, I didn't want to hear any of that as I made it clear to her from the beginning. She started crying and got emotional, that got to me and I told her not to worry, that I will pay her bride price and marry her. I earn about half a million monthly, so I believe I can take care of her and the kid. She paused and said she needs to think about it. Regarding abortion, I already told her, my tradition forbids me from giving any form of material and financial assistance to her to do that, if at all she wants to do it, it has to be her sole decision. I made it clear to her that I won't be involved in the decision to abort the pregnancy. She called back after a couple of minutes that she is not comfortable with my decision to marry her, that I want to do that because of the pregnancy. She asked if there was no pregnancy,would I have chosen to marry her, I told her, I don't know. She said then that she is going to abort it, I pleaded with her not to abort seeing the possibility of me becoming a dad soon, she said she will go ahead to abort, that her friend have gotten her some meds already. She called few days later that she just got the drugs, and have taken them, and that she is experiencing blood flow and stomach ache, that I shouldn't abandon her in this difficult time. I said no problem, so I kept calling to check on her very often. After a week, I stopped calling as usual, and that became a problem. I wanted her to move on with her life.

I kept in touch with her and supported her financially when the need arose. When I told her, I am back to the same city with her, she said she wanted to see me that it's very important, I said what's so important that we can't discuss over the phone, she said when I see her I will know. Well, when the day came for her to see me, I told her I was unavailable, then she coded I was avoiding her. We chatted, and she told me the pregnancy is still there. I told her to stop messing with me as I am currently trying to move on and build a new relationship. She insisted, then I said well, if you are, deliver the child, I will take responsibility. She said is that all I have to say, that I want to make her my Baby Mama? I then asked her, what more does she want? I offered marriage before, but now, that's no longer on the table. When the baby is borne I will take responsibility. Well, long story short, at the end of our chat, she said, she was never pregnant, and that she will only get pregnant if she wants to. I then told her, I am not going to forgive her in a hurry.

Since then, we stopped communicating. Recently,I saw her WhatsApp status with her visibly pregnant in the picture. I have been seeing most of her status update on Facebook and WhatsApp, I feel so sorry for her most of the time. She has done nothing wrong but love me. The problem is me, I can't seem to be able to really love back the way I ought to. Feelings die after few weeks and months. This happened to all the 6 ladies I have dated.

My worry right now is, could she be carrying my child? I didn't release in her, but there could be a possibility of precum. One of her friends once called me that she noticed she is pregnant, and I am the only one she has known to be dating her. She claimed to have called me without her knowledge and consent and ask if she told me she was pregnant.

I was a good boy and should have remained a virgin till marriage if I had known. Now look how complicated my life just got. I never wanted to have kids with different women. I haven't really been myself since. If you are a young single guy, please learn from my experience.

For the mature minds in the house, what do you advise I do about my present predicament?

If you don't build up yourself as a man, women will toss your life

That pregnancy isn't yours in the first place

Just llok at how she was dribbling you and you promised her marriage, she tossed you again, you withdraw the promise

She cried to you again and you told her that you were back to town, she played you again and told you that she wasn't pregnant and you too you were busy falling into her game plans

It's obvious you are not yet experienced and you may get it in a painful way

You see that person In question, she is on top of her game

Leave her with the pregnancy, DNA will prove everything right

Stop telling her you are building another relationship, it doesn't make senses at all

horlanrewaju11:
I guys please I need your advice on this.

I'm 25 years old and I'm working at NNPC depot as a security officer for the almost 3 years now, but ever since we've been doing this job the company have always been owing us at least two months, Now is now getting to the stage that I can't hold it anymore because the company is owing us almost Eight ( months now, I can't stop thinking even if I don't want to and it's hurting me, though I'm not married yet nor girlfriend but I'm the one taking responsibility of my sick mother, my two sisters and brother.

The company is paying #40,000 for salary, I'm owing more than 100k from bank and many apps like that.

Now the company promise to clear all the outstanding debt at the end of this month but before then only God knows what can happen.

I've been thinking about it and I don't know what to do, Should I quit the job?

Please share your thoughts.

It just unfortunate that you are in these mess
Walk up to the management with pictures if your sick mum on phone to let them know that you are in a tight corner

Video yourself cleaning up your mother so that they will believe you

Getting another job that may pay you regularly is nit easy at all

Emaxwell:
Take her to a jamb HQ either the one in lagos or abuja normal accredited center can't solve her issue

When she get there, there would help her reopen the account that where thumb printing becomes useful because that what will be used to ascertain if she own the account.


NB Am talking from experience here once worked in a cyber cafe

Pls advice me, my daughter couldn't send the email address they asked her to send to Jamb, when we got to a cyber cafe, they used her registration number to try ot open her page couldn't submit her email be because they said she used the same email last year on the same phone number

techwaya:
Madam if you are in Lagos ,visit our office here in yabatech we can help you my it's a minor case checky signature for contact.

Pls how do I get in touch with you as my daughter could not send her emails address, she was told that she used the same email for last year

What's the way forward

Confidencemama:
My husband left home in Lagos since June and has refused to return, he doesn't pick my calls if i use another number to call him once he hears my voice, he shout at me that he is no more interested in the marriage, that he has moved on and that I should never call his line again then he will end the call, he blocked me on what's app, face book and currently he is in a relationship with a girl in benin, just that I don't know his exact address where he moved to.

You guys must have been having unresolved issues and am sure you know that

Do you have children for him
Were you guys really married the proper ways
Have you made efforts to contact his family or visit them to talk about it
Are you in good terms with his family or not in good terms

Well you understand your marriage more than anyone of us

Take it to God in prayers but check on the above questions I asked and respond to me pls

Textra:
Please, bed bug is actually one of my greatest fear growing up. I can't just imagine having it in my room back then due to people experiences... The shame, if it follows me outside. Lo, and behold, I can't really say how it got it into my room. My fear has turn to reality now... I rented a room, clean it bought everything new, and after a year I allowed a friend to stay with me, whether it was from him or I got it somewhere else I don't know, but i am dying inside seeing it, I have tried all that I know... Killing it alone makes me wanna vomit... Please, what should I do, to eradicate this enemy.

The bed bug was in some apartments in that building before you packed in

It can move on the wall or on the ground floor to any place within the building

If you kill yours, others won't kill the ones in their room, so it will crawl back to your room again and again

It's a hermaphrodite so one alone is enough to breed

Fumigate your room and if possible join hands with your next door neighbours to fumigate all at once every month for six months

If your next door neighbours don't fumigate, they will creep back to your room through their own rooms

Alternatively pack out to a mini flat if you can

They are aware of the bed bugs and they have no plans to eliminate them because if Mr A does, will Mr B do and so on

ouvredeparis:
This is a perfect idea.... Thanks a lot..I really appreciate

You are welcome

ouvredeparis:
I don't like to attend parties or social functions... I'm not a shy person, I speak fluently and confidently in public and around people...but parties or social gatherings don't really interest me...I just prefer quiet celebrations of maybe 3-5 people...that's all..

This issue has been going on for long and it has caused a rift between my family members, friends and I countless times because they don't seem to understand that I'm not just the partying type...
They misunderstand my reserved nature as being irresponsible...
I need advice on how to make them understand that's just how I am... None of dem dey feed me even if I decide not to explain anything to them but then no man is an Island....

You don't need to explain anything to anyone

If they have a gathering, attend it, stay briefly and go the most important thing is that you attended the occasion

When you want to marry, find your type in the woman so that she would understand you

Plan for the wedding according to the number of people you want in attendance and stick to it

Nelchuksmandela:
Good day Niralanders,

I need your sincere advice on my present situation.
Please ignore any grammatical error or punctuation. I’m the first son of my family, my father is an average Nigerian trader, he single handedly sponsored my schooling from nursery to higher institution.

After my service year, one of his friends scammed him of 300k in the name of they will get me a job in NUPENG before he paid that money I told him my pastor’s revelation about the NUPENG job, which my pastor said She does not like the job and shared ill references associated to the job with me and I told my dad when I got home, he countered and rebuked the revelation, he doesn’t take any of our advice, he finally fell for the scam.

To cut the long story short, I’m now working class that earn 75k monthly, however I’m still squatting with a friend and I’m still struggling to survive.

Recently I received a call from my dad, he told me he needs 500k for trading, that he wants me to take loan on his behalf he will be paying the debt once it’s due, since he is yet to complete the outstanding loan he took from the same bank, which is remaining 3 months to complete. I later discovered he had another debt he’s still servicing (Paying ) of a different bank that is remaining 6 months to complete.
After pondering over it i asked him; what if he defaults what will happen ? he shunned me and said why will I be negative and I politely told him my mind that I cannot help the current issue. Since then he started reporting me to my mum relatives to talk to in order to accept and collect the loan of 500k on his behalf.

Please your advise on this will be helpful.
Thank you.

If he likes, let him report you to Angels, he us about initiating you to live the life of a debtor which he is already into

Assuming he doesn't pay back that money, who will pay it

Is it from your 75k that you can't save enough to rent a room apartment or from what

Tell him you don't mind saving 40k from your account every month to give him to support his business for a year

You are still young for what he is pushing you into

Let him report you to families, when they call you, go there and defend yourself

Athemisia:
Masturbation doesn't destroy one's diivk. Stop filling his mind with fear. It's a common behavior among teenage male..

Who told you that it doesn't?

It does so badly because your dick will be use to the palms you are using to jerk it out

By the time he gets to a pussy, it will not get attention quickly there by creating tension on him because she will be expecting a turgid dick

Secondly, the session will be too short and that means he is yet to bring her to orgasm, what does that means

It means he is a two minutes man, even Indomie is not cooked in two minutes

A man's dick already knows what he will get when it gets to a woman's body and not using finger's to replace it and cause more harm

If you feel it has no effect, go on with yours and find out the difference

SeyiFargo:
I started masturbating while I was 15yrs old, hence I have been trying on how to stop it.. All has been fruitless ..
Anyone with a solid way of stopping this shiit, am tired of it..
All comments are welcomed
Let's push this to the fp so every Nl monikers can help me out ��

It's now a habit in you

Get a girl friend that will always keep you warm when you need it

You are about destroying the nerves in your groin and those that surrounds your private part

Once you succeeds in destroying them, another man will help you service your wife

Nacoss25:
Good evening all. i want get my wife an SUV this month and budget is 2m. Suggest for me any SuV with the following specification
6 cylinder
4×4
Not Toyota nor Honda. Thanks guys

If you are not realy having up to 3ml for a foreign SUV, why not go for a good car, that is new Tokunbo at that 2ml and have absolute peace

Remember, if you buy a faulty car, that remaining money you want to save will be used to register that car with a mechanic that will chop you more

Be wise, it's not a must that it will be this month, keep saving

Alternatively, get some money from her and make it up to, if you realy want to buy it this month

If its her first car, buy a car for her and let her start from there

Person wey never see money build Bungalow because of Lack of found no dey do foundation for duplex

teeste:
Seriously, women doesn't deserve this treatment. Let her work and buy her own car. You remember this advice one day! Use the money for something else.

Why not treat your own woman like trash and leave other men to treat their wives as their heart appreciates her

What's your problem, if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean that it's not working for others

munstaqq:
Dear Nairalanders,

With a sad and heavy heart, I'm writing to seek your advice and/or recommendations.

My mum is late. She died 2 years ago and since her demise, everything has turned left for us - her children. We were deserted and left to fend for ourselves by our uncles, aunties, and other relatives that we thought were with us when my mum was alive. My dad is still alive but he only pretends to care about us. I can't even remember the last time he has done something good for any of us. Our school fees, food, everything, were taken care of by my mum.

There is a 50-year-old man who we were later told is our distant relative. His house is a stone's throw away from our house. When I was at home, I used to run errands for him, like going to the market to buy things for him. So it was normal. He used this same method on my sister. He took advantage of my sister's naivety and impregnated her. She's barely 16 and I swear to God, she has not known any man until this bastard did this to her. He even ran away from home and plan to come back when tensions are low.

Note: we left her in the village with my dad and my brother. We, the elderly ones left the village to hustle in the city. We have not settled and we couldn't afford to take them with us.

Please I need your advice. What should be our next line of action? He's 50 and won't marry my sister. There is also a high tendency that he won't even take care of her and the baby.

Please what should we do? We are all we've got and nobody to turn to to help us fight this battle. What should we do?

Thank you.

She is still a small girl and can't stand the situation she is into
Assuming he us a young Bachelor, good and fine, but not with a man of that age

Take her to a Doctor to find out how old the pregnancy is

If its still at one month good once its over two months the, think of adopting the baby out by taking her to a motherless home for registration

Next line of action is how to take your sister along to wherever you are, even if you are staying in a squalor

zeb04:
Nope. That home is not a happy home.

A happy home is two happy people. Not one person dying in silence and the other person enjoying happiness

When you endure some naughty things, it doesn't mean you are dying in silence

If you are dying in silence then you are killing yourself twice

Lamanii22:
Maybe cause I grew up in a house filled with many people... I don't think I can ever live alone... Whenever my husband isn't around, kia I would go over to my sister's to pass the nights ...

This is serious, but for how long

Kadejo:
I meet this lady during COVID-19 pandemic period which was last year May 2020. She is still a student in a reputable University here in Nigeria, 300Level to be precise. She is 25years old.
She has insisted that until she finishes her school, gone for service and do what ladies call "Sisi" for at least another one year, she won't get married. That will be about 4years to this time.

I am in my mid 30s already, working class, earn below #70k per month, also into IT business, willing to get married now because I feel lonely, also need to build a family of my own before I turn 40yrs.

This lady in question appears to show me love, that's to her own way, my orientation is a bit different, I love her too anyways.

But would you advice I wait for her till she is done with all she has said or should I leave her and look for someone else to get married to?

Please, no insult, advice needed from experienced person.

Thank you.

If you want to wait for some one who is not yet planning for marriage, then be ready to stay long in the Bustop

By the way, was so special about her that you can't leave her and look for a woman who is ready to get settled

Marriage Is no gambling but its like a game

It's either you get it right or you fail it

Iyaebe:
Six months and if nothing meaningful is in sight then you go your separate ways.

Exactly

phemmylink:
Baby mama's and single mothers everywhere! Divorce is the talk of the town everyday, Yet some are enjoying their Marriage.... What is the in thing, what is the secret recipe of marriage or home.

For every happy home, one person has decided to tolerate all sort of nonsense from their partner, for peace to reign in their home

Liliantalks:
Please I need advice on this, help me

There is nothing wrong with loving someone

But don't put all your mind there
At times it ends in tears

IdJack:
Pressure to terminate the pregnancy has landed her in her early grave.

May God not allow today's pressure to overwhelm us.

It is well.

RIP to her.


Kindly check my signature

It's risky to terminate any pregnancy after 3 months.
In her own case, I don't think she would have wanted to terminate the pregnancy at that near delivery stage, she knows the risk

DropsMic:
So people still park on the streets at night... Hmm

He should park it in his palour ?

11Anonymous:
Just got a job offer of about 80k per month and I planned on going for NYSC before the year ends.

Which should I go for, knowing that I may no longer be interested in serving after getting a job?

Go for service with your mate and team tend it there once and for all

By the time you start working, you will find it difficult to go back and serve and it will be a hindrance to an extent

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

For the fact that you said she is a good woman, you have to be patient enough with her to get it from her with her own interest in it

You may go out to get that woman that will give you sex attention, but you may loose her and the woman you loosed her for, may not be as good as she if

NaijaCoverBlog:
A middle-aged man identified as Eke Ofia, has been arrested for allegedly beating his eight-months pregnant wife to death over food at their home in Ogwuagor in the Abakpa Nike, Enugu East Local Government Area of Enugu state.

According to reports, Eke who runs a scrap metal business on Nkpor Street, Abakpa, allegedly returned home drunk on Wednesday, September 9, and demanded food from his wife. The wife informed him that she had no food to give to him as he did not provide any money for her to make any food. She reportedly mentioned to him that the little food in the house was meant for their children. Her reaction got him angry and he allegedly pounced on her, beating her until she slumped.

Concerned neighbors rushed the woman to the hospital where she was admitted. She however died on Thursday, September 9.

Neighbors say the couple who were married for over ten years were constantly at loggerheads as the man failed to provide for his family.

Source: https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2021/9/man-allegedly-beats-pregnant-wife-to-death-over-food-in-enugu.html

Since he is not a responsible man, let him go to jail where he will be responsible by living by the rules

Tushmanny123:
You are not a good women to have thought of reconnecting with your ex all cos your husband cheated. Just know within that "you are not fit for a wife" period.

So she is not fit for a wife because she should have endured the trauma of knowing that her husband cheated

The husband that cheat, got licensed to cheat, abi ?

Let her cheat, if that is what she wants

You and I can't determine for her

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

You have to be confused because you don't know what the outcome with your ex will be

The issue is that you don't have feelings for your husband and you guys have so many unresolved issues, which triggers the other

It's time you let him know that you are aware that he cheated on you and it's killing you emotionally

Now that you are about to reconnect with your ex, don't be too sure if your ex is coming back to you

Just follow your heart because you are the person that knows exactly what you want

Hismasterpiece:
Ever since I was a kid, I've always been used to eating the meat last, that is, after eating the rice, or swallow or whatever is served.

I noticed that my father, mother, brothers all follow this rule.

I have also noticed it in public events. When rice is served, people usually eat the rice first and the meat last. The same goes for swallow or anything that is served with meat.

My question is, why is that so?

Why is it that most Nigerians follow this unwritten rule?

The reason is that the meat beautifies the food
Is like an icing in the cake

emmyN:
Come, how old are you? You should desist from giving further advice on nairaland before I ban you, wtf. A 28 years old man should start crying with tears and catarrh to pacify his mom? I go slap you o

You don't have to be a nuisance all the time, at times hide yourself

Supreme145:
Good morning N'landers, I will make this post as brief and concise as possible.

Some months ago while I was home on break from school, I visited one of my in-laws that owns a school to introduce a software to him for his school. The man complained that I was too distant from him, citing how I never call him or ask him for favours whenever I'm in school. I told him I will reach out to him more often.

I told my mom about my visit and she told me without mincing words to resist collecting money from the man. My mom is the religious type and has been skeptical about the man's source of wealth.

When school resumed things were difficult at home and I couldn't resume school. I spent close to three months after resumption at home due to lack of funds.
Note that since my admission from my first year to my final year, I've never asked any relative for help no received any help from anyone aside my immediate family.

I lost my resolve not to ask for help when my project supervisor called me and scolded me over the phone for my inability to resume school. I sent the man a text soliciting for help, he sent me 5k which I added to the little I had and resumed school. I didn't tell my mom because I knew she won't be happy about it.

In school things were so hard for me, during a particular period I went almost one week living on just water, that period I'm sure I would eaten food sacrificed to a deity if I had access to one. I called the man again and he reluctantly sent me 4k after many calls and text messages.

This early morning I got a phone call from my mom, she was crying over the phone. She was hurt and said I betrayed her because I went behind her back to collected money from a man she told me to avoid. She said that singular act of mine has destroyed all her efforts and prayers to break us free from bondage. I tired to explain that the money wasnt a physical cash hence it has no effect on me but to no avail. She said I've broken her for life and she would never forgive me.

I have a very close relationship with my mom and everything she told me really hurt me and I'm confused on the action to take. I am 28 but I hardly hide anything from her, I didn't tell her about the money because I know she wouldn't approve of it and I needed it. This is the first time any relative has contributed to my education ever. I don't even know how she got to know.

Please how do I pacify her and get her to forgive me? I really love my mom and can't bear to see her this heartbroken.

My dear, it was because you were stranded, that made you to seek for help outside

Summon courage go home, meet her, just the two of you alone, let her hear from you and let her know that it's not physical cash but transfer

That you needed that help that time and this is the first time you are doing such


Assure her that you remain her son who loves her mother any thing in the whole world and she means you living and happiness

That since she reacted on that money issue, you have never been yourself

That she should forgive so that both of you will continue the good relationship that you ha e with each other

If she refuses, report to your siblings and start crying

That tears alone will move her

After this avoid anything that will trigger her emotions

Some women are very sensitive

mardis:
Ok, but this is for woman now

Simply because you are going to use it on a woman